Thoughts on My First Spanking

I waited almost 15 years for my first grown-up spanking.

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I’ve been swatted at before. I once even worked up the nerve to request a spanking, but because I have only dated vanilla men, it never went further than a light-hearted smack or two. Still, I imagined I might like it.

Why ever would I want to be spanked?

I don’t know when I stopped associating spankings with my mother, but I guess it was in adulthood. I never liked those spankings. The truth is, those spankings were my first foray into power exchange, even if unpleasant. Around the age of 9, I convinced myself that my mother must spank us so much because she enjoyed it. Whether this had any truth to it or not, I understood that saying so was my best chance at hurting her back when she hurt me. This became a demonstration of sorts. Anytime she spanked us, I would  refuse to cry out or show that I was in pain. Instead, I would say to my sister when it was her turn, “Don’t let her see you cry. She enjoys it too much!” (Is that messed up?)

As a teenager, I heard jokes make about spankings, but it wasn’t until I saw Secretary (2002), that I imagined the potential. The film showed a D/s dynamic between a boss and his secretary, and although I have some issues with the film and its assumption that both characters must be unstable to have this kink, it’s still a great story.

Plus, it’s full of D/s tension and relatable kink-isolation angst. And scenes like this:

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Sweet sixteen (or something) and never been spanked

I waited almost 15 years for my first grown-up spanking. And then, at my local munch just the other week, I met someone.

I did not know then that a week later, this man would be spanking me. I did know right away that he was my “type.” Unfortunately, when a man looks like my type (clean cut, professional, conservative-ish), this does not usually bode well (meaning these guys are always vanilla!). But you see, that is the benefit of meeting someone at a munch: at least you know that you have that shared interest!

We kept chatting after the munch. Nothing crazy; we had some sodas and appetizers and then walked around the city for hours, just talking. A few days later, he asked me to have dinner with him (which I did). We’ve been chatting and emailing and seeing a lot of each other since… which is how we found ourselves, predictably, in bed.

 Thoughts on My First Spanking

To be clear, this was not a Secretary-esque spanking, but a fully-consensual sexual spanking. He’s a gentleman, so he was mindful about the level of intensity… but I’ll tell you, there was no point at which it was too intense or painful. In fact, I wouldn’t use the word painful at all, or even uncomfortable.

I LOVED it.

It made me feel present, but more deeply present than I am usually able to be during sex. Every smack was electric and brought me right into my body. I felt my entire body humming at a higher frequency and every strike sent these waves coursing through me. I didn’t want him to stop and I was almost in a trance. It was wild. When he did stop, I collapsed for a couple minutes because my thighs were twitching and I felt overwhelmed… but in a really good way!

The verdict:

More spankings, please!

Also, this guy is great. It might be the oxytocin talking, but I’m smitten.